What if we don't need to be any more than we are? What if we are enough?
The invitation of today's lesson is to encourage you to love, honour and respect yourself. Just as you are.
Owning our journey, our lessons and our truth - it frees us. It frees us from the suggestion that we are not enough and that we should contribute more or become something greater.
The only person who gets to define our success is ourselves. And the only person by whose measure we are worthy, is our own.
So, don't wait to be saved by a person, an opinion or a credential. Because you'll be waiting for eternity. It's time to look within to save yourself.
Today's lesson in the Everyday Miracles Course is about honouring the true self and becoming more self-actualised. The definition of self-actualisation is “The realisation or fulfilment of one's talents and potential, something that is present in everyone”.
A big part about becoming a more self-actualised person is realising that you can trust in your true self and own inner knowing. It is about knowing that all the wisdom, love and happiness that you desire already resides within you, as you. You just need to reconnect with your true self and rediscover what you already know.
If we do not feel and believe we are worthy, it becomes hard to connect with people who value us. For complete mind-body-wellness, we must ignite an inferno of love and self-worth inside our own heart.
For self-love is the ultimate gift that we can give ourselves.
For many of us, we have at one time or another seeked out something or someone who could validate who we were, whether it be relationships, money, physical things, or maybe a certain religion, belief system, or even a trending movement.
If you seek things out from outside of yourself for your own self validation, all they will do for you is confirm the negative theories that you believe about yourself in your own head.
You deserve love, regardless of any negative beliefs that either you or someone else holds about you. You deserve an abundance of unconditional love. And it has to begin with yourself first. You were born with a purpose and meaning, and you deserve love regardless of anything that you may have said or done in the past.
We are all human and we all make mistakes. You must accept them, learn from them, and not allow them to become who you are today. Your mistakes and mis-judgments have made you a better person by teaching you the things that you needed to know. And by helping you to get to know yourself better.
Life is an endless pursuit of bettering yourself. There are always lessons to be learned and opportunities for personal growth. And it is usually within our darkest hours that our greatest lessons can be learned. These lessons don't have to be so tough, if you make the commitment to start looking inward, and taking the time to reflect on how your life's lessons have made you grow and expand into a better person.
Having self-love, and honouring your true nature puts you in alignment with your highest self. And when you're in alignment to your highest self, you will naturally draw others close to you, whose energies align with yours. And when you feel that genuine, deep love from within, you will be less affected by the opinions, criticism and behaviour of others towards you.
By radiating with self-love, you will be raising your own vibration, which will not only attract more abundance into your life, but your higher frequency of energy will engage, lock and lift others up.
You will stop repeating your destructive cycles and your negative patterns and behaviours will change to more positive ones. Your interactions with others will change. And you will also stop allowing people to treat you in ways that are unacceptable.
The way that you communicate will become more genuine and sincere, and this will have a positive effect on others.
So, once you seed self-love within, it is fascinating to observe how others begin to treat you.
With self-love, you will feel grounded and secure within and your happiness will be derived from solely you. You can even go as far as telling other people “My happiness depends on me. So, you're off the hook”. And then you can go out and demonstrate exactly that.
Learn to be happy no matter what anyone else is doing. The only reason that we aren't able to love others fully is because we use other people as our excuse to feel bad about ourselves.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Never make the mistake of measuring your life against what other people have achieved. Maybe you don't have a college degree like your friends. Maybe you don't make as much money as your sister. And maybe most of your friends are married and you're single.
When you measure and compare your life based on what other people around you have achieved, you will become disappointed, feel devalued and lose your focus.
You were born to live your own unique life. Everybody is on their own journey. And it is going to be different for everybody. So sometimes what is right for someone is not right for another. Comparison is pointless for it gets you nowhere.
You are on your own journey so comparing yourself to others is a waste of precious moments, moments where you could mindfully be building your own perfect destiny.
You aren't supposed to replicate another person's life, because you have your own unique role to fulfil in this world that no one else can.
You have to release the judgment in order to release the comparison. So, know that you have unique gifts and qualities unlike anyone else, you are special, and you do have something special to contribute.
Drop all comparison and embrace who you are authentically.
Wisdom and self-love resides within you as you.
Like many others, I too have spent years searching for my happiness in all the wrong places.
In my younger years, I thought that happiness could be found in a job title, a certain relationship, a pair of new shoes, a big house, a nice car, maybe a compliment, an overseas holiday, and even in money.
When searching for happiness and contentment in things outside of yourself, no matter what you receive, it will never be enough, for you will always be on that relentless and constant cycle of always seeking out that next big thing.
What I have grown to learn to be true is that if you search for happiness outside of yourself, you will be searching forever. The good news is that becoming self-empowered and having self -worth can happen within moments. For all the love, healing and wisdom that you need is within you. It has been with you all along and all that you need to do is learn how to connect with it.
It starts by adopting a self-love practice each day that is focused on mindfulness breathing and inner stillness.
A great foundation is to begin breathing into your heart-centre and feeling an energy of love radiate from within you. It requires opening yourself up, softening your old belief systems about yourself and the world and then feeling the energy arise and then radiate outwards.
If you need some guidance, there are many free meditations on self-love and self-empowerment that bring up a deep feeling of love within.
The first time that you do this simple energy healing work. You will feel your entire existence shift a little, you will feel warm, comforted and have an unconditional love for yourself. You will feel an appreciation for all that you have experienced and for who you have become today.
Your view of the world and yourself will become more loving. And over time you will start to do things that honour yourself, such as meditation, yoga, healthy eating, exercise, setting boundaries, and quiet time. And before you know it, your life will change, you will be happy, you will feel truly loved and live in a state of calm. You will have a deep sense of self-empowerment because you know that you chose to take responsibility for your own life, instead of waiting to be saved from something outside yourself.
So, in better words, you will become self-actualised.
Not only will you feel more positive, stronger and better about yourself, but others will see it to. You will instantly appear different. You will be more loving and accepting of others and you will radiate a deep sense of joy and ease. Your eyes will sparkle, and your smile will be broader and brighter, you will become more light and breezy within and things that once irritated you will suddenly be viewed with more lightness, love and compassion.
Self-actualisation and the importance of quieting your mind and looking within.
In a world that encourages you to look externally for guidance, wisdom and acceptance, taking the time to quieten the mind is a practice that supports you to look within.
Quietening the mind will help you remember that all the answers that you are looking for are inside of you. And that the answers you are seeking can be found through space, stillness, and deep listening. You are the source of all the wisdom that you seek. And when you learn to quiet your mind and to connect with your true self you come back into a space of personal power where you are in tune with your inner voice and aligned with your own personal truth.
The fog it starts to clear, and you can see the truth of what actually is instead of what you perceive it to be. The truth is your busy mind and all its negative and self-limiting beliefs not only block out your inner voice, but they also determine your perception and they create your reality.
One of the most effective ways to quieten your thoughts and control them is definitely through meditation, self-awareness and by spending time in stillness. To truly seek within it does take self-mastery and awareness. It is about creating a better you and a better life that is centred around striving for enlightenment within.
And when enlightenment comes, so does composure, contentment and tranquillity of your mind.
In today's modern world, most of us look outside of ourselves, we have become separate from what is happening around us. We are disconnected from the world, which means that we are also disconnected from ourselves.
But when you seek within, you become full of love, gratitude, purpose and knowingness. You no longer search for your answers and happiness externally, because you have taken the journey within to connect with your own true self and your own wisdom.
Practices to help you become more self-actualised.
Coming next, I will share with you some ways to connect with your true self so that you can start seeking within. They are easy practices that you can start using today.
Meditate daily, for the answers you seek are within you:
So many of us search for our answers outside ourselves. We hope to have the answers revealed to us by asking friends, family members or therapists. We seek the mystical powers of fortune tellers, or we read books and listen to songs in hope of unlocking the answers within our heart.
Meditation sends you looking inside yourself for enlightenment, for there's no need to search outside yourself for the answers. You can find the answers in the same place that you found the questions.
By taking the time to sit in meditation and in quietness, clarity will present itself to you.
If you're new to meditation, then definitely start small and work up. There are plenty of free guided meditations on the internet that only go for about eight to ten minutes, making them a perfect start.
Stillness brings inspiration to the mind.
Spending time alone in stillness will bring you clarity, energy and new inspiration. Time alone is an opportunity to detox from negativity and to recharge your emotional well-being.
It will also quieten your mind down enough so that you can hear the answers to your questions. Time spent alone in stillness and in self-reflection is a non-negotiable if you want to live a self-actualised, happy and purposeful life.
What matters most to you?
The answer to this question is called your values. Often, we find that we have forgotten what is important to us, because we allowed ourselves to get stuck doing something on someone else's agenda. Knowing and honouring your own personal values is what drives change in your life. To get a sense of your own value, spend some time working out what your core values are.
You are unique in your knowledge, life experiences, talents and special gifts. There is no one else like you on the planet. So, get in touch with this so that you can gain a sense of your own value. And ask questions like, what do you have to offer others? How do you uniquely help them and what is unique about you?
Seek out inspiration daily.
Sometimes the daily grind of life leaves us feeling exhausted and unmotivated. With deadlines lurking and bills to be paid, it is easy to lose our perspective and to get lost within a spiral of overwhelm. The great news is that you don't have to pack up everything and escape to some deserted island just to find some solace and inspiration. Inspiration surrounds you on a daily basis. From gratitude journals, daily walks, spending time in nature, creative time, reading inspiring books, to even catching up with friends.
Make it a daily practice to seek out inspiration in your every day.
Journaling is a healing and deeply nourishing self-care practice that will cultivate self-worth, open you up to your own intuition and inner wisdom, while supporting you in creating new levels of self-awareness.
It is a great tool for turning inwards for answers, wisdom and direction. For all too often, the answers that you seek, they will flow onto the pages in front of you.
Journaling is not just about documenting your life or writing out the events of the day. It's a powerful tool that can take you on a journey of self-discovery and inner transformation.
We thrive when we feel loved, seen and celebrated. These are things that we all crave, and it is what we most need to give to ourselves.
It is only when we are accepting of who we are; speaking to ourselves in loving ways and living in alignment with our most authentic truth that we can expand into the best version of ourselves.
It is only when we are practicing wholehearted self-love, honouring ourselves and following that unique call of our inner voice that we can rise to our fullest potential.
It is impossible for us to step into our purpose and truth if we are constantly tearing ourselves down, speaking to ourselves in unkind and critical ways and sacrificing our own personal power in order to make others happy.
We all have a purpose to fulfil and we can no longer diminish our own joy, well-being and purpose in pursuit of being who we think we should be.
It is time to rise strong and empower yourself by not only becoming your truest of self, but also fully loving the person that you are meant to be.
It does take practice and patience. And yes, you will trip up from time to time as you fall back into the comfort of your old self-destructive patterns. But; take comfort in knowing that you will have more awareness. And as a result, you will be much quicker in picking yourself back up and showing yourself love instead of frustration, and forgiveness instead of blame.
Transformation happens when you start looking within yourself for your answers, your direction and your self-worth.
Learning to love ourselves. It can change in an instant. It is just a choice that you have to make.
So; while you're trying to navigate your way through the murky waters, always remember to take a breath, take a moment, close your eyes, and feel your heart.