The Tao Of Finding Happiness
The single most important decision any of us will ever make is whether we believe the universe is a friendly place to live or an unfriendly place to live - Einstein
There is only one way to lifelong happiness and that is "choose to be happy".
We spend far to much of our lives choosing to feel stressed, annoyed, offended, disregarded, not valued and so on. We like to blame people and situations for how we feel. We have given up self-empowerment and allowed situations outside ourselves to determine our very own success, value and self-happiness.
We have the illusion of freedom yet we are so shackled down by the opinions and actions of things outside ourselves. The reason we allow this is because we let our ego get in the way. Wayne Dyer says "Ego is the part of us that believes: I am what I have, I am what I do. I am what others think of me. All this is just an illusion. The problem? If you are what you do, then who are you when you don’t do it any longer? If you are what you have—then when you no longer have it, you no longer have any value."
Ego encourages us to get hold of an idea and not let go of it until we make it a reality. We believe we won't be happy until we make it happen. This causes us a lot of pain, stress and suffering. Alternatively, when we choose to give up anxiety and be accepting of all outcomes, we are trusting tao/source/energy/god to guide us. When we live in harmony with the Tao it is then that ideas and opportunities abundantly come our way and we feel compelled to follow them to see where they take us. When we learn to stop being so hung-up on outcomes we shift into a new phase of life were we start to feel inspired on the journey - no matter where it may lead us.
There isn’t a person reading this who does not have a deep sense or knowing within them that there’s something they’re here to do.
This intuitive inner voice is the tao. It is encouraging you to become all that you can become by choosing "to be happy + content with the now". It gently urges you to be brave enough to speak your own truths and grow your own mind. Develop a deep understanding and respect of the world around you yet never loose your sense of humour. It requires for you to see the joy in ordinary things and embrace “carefree wandering” so that you can move through life with a free and happy heart, regardless of how turbulent the journey might be. When you live everyday like this, you’re connecting to the tao - and it will guide you towards what you love - and happiness will be the byproduct of the journey.
The Tao of being happy is about dropping the ego's need for approval so that you can grow into all that you can become. It is about being a better person than who you where yesterday. It does not involve being better than others. Its not about being the best mother, daughter, employee and so forth. Its not about being popular, beautiful and rich. Its also not about achieving all those lofty ambitions so that others can label you as ‘smart’ ‘successful’ or ‘ a change maker’. And most importantly its not about being perfect and striving for perfection. Becoming all that you can become is one of the most simplest things to do – yet is the hardest thing for us humans to achieve.
To become all that you are, requires you to see the beauty and purpose in everything whilst living with the genuine belief that ‘life is beautiful’ just as it is- even in all of its ugly and distressing disguises. Its about living with complete trust and acceptance, not wanting to be anywhere else except in the here and now. Its about knowing that everything in the universe has its own natural order. Its about ‘just being and experiencing’. Its about choosing to be kind over being right. Its about serving others and wanting something for someone else more than you want it for yourself. Its about personal growth and looking at obstacles as opportunities for further growth. Its about becoming a better being each and every day..
How Re-connecting With Your Own Happiness Will Change Your World + The Outer World
- Living a more happy and positive life will have a ripple effect on others. You will inspire other people to expand their own awareness, becoming more kinder human beings which ultimately leads to a more love-centred world.
- Feelings of happiness and positivity raise your energy levels. You will feel more refreshed, renewed and constantly inspired. You will have the energy levels to go out and live with purpose and contribute to creating deep change in the world.
- The more happy and positive you are within then the more love and acceptance you have to offer others.
- By raising your positive vibrational energy levels you will not only attract abundance into your own life – but also into the lives of all living things. Heard of the term ‘Collective Consciousness’?
- By choosing to become all that you can become you will leave a positive impact on the world and others. And isn’t that the very reason why we are here? To serve others.
- By utilising positivity and gratitude in your daily life you are opening the gate into a far bigger realm than you would ever thought possible. You are allowing yourself to tap into the divine energy [or the Tao] and fall in flow with the natural flow and order of nature. This is the place where you will discover the wonderful world of Synchronicity. You’ll start seeing miracles showing up—the right person, unanticipated abundance, etc. You’ll feel like you’re collaborating with the universe instead of it working against you.
- You will quickly discover that there are no ordinary or dull moments in life, only moments of wonder and greatness.
- Because you have given up the need to be 'always in control', 'right' or 'approved of' you will experience calmness where there used to be anxiety.
- Research shows that by practicing kindness and happiness increases serotonin which in turn strengthens the immune system. Conversely, unkindness and unhappiness weakens the body, causes disease and puts us into a state of dissonance.
21 Ways To Tap Into The Tao Of Happiness + Feel Great Every Day
- Stop Judging Your Self-Worth On The Actions + Opinions Of Others: When you take back your own power and start approving of yourself, it is inevitable that you will run into flack, disapproval and discredit from others. However, never elevate their opinions over your own. When you get hurt, angry and offended by the actions of others you are giving them the power to control you - you are giving away your own power. Never allow someone else's lack of morals or respect cause you to feel bad about yourself. When you do get negatively affected by another human being take the time to get curious about their perspective of the world which has lead them to doing what they have done. Send them love and then release the negative feelings. Forgive them and move on. Never hold on to resentment as it is like venom that will swirl around your body and continue to poison you - never let another person have that kind of power over you.
- Surender + Allow: Stop constantly striving for success. It’s not about doing nothing. Yes have a plan or goal but don't get so stuck on the 'perfect outcome'. It is about letting go and allowing. It just means allowing the energy of the Tao to be the dominant force in your life—whatever you’re doing. I truly believe that it is something far greater than the ego that builds all the bridges, writes all the good books and conceptualises all the great businesses. Sure, I sit down and work out my plans and strategies —but the messages, ideas and opportunities move though me and I just allow.
- Stop Focusing On What Is Missing In Your Life: The biggest mistake we make is asking for “Please give me more…” Or, “Please heal me.” If you do this, you’ll only attract more of what is missing into your life. Quit putting your attention on what’s missing in your life, what you don’t like, or what is hard in your life. Focus on what you do have. Next time you find 10 cents laying on the ground, don't say "wish it was 10 dollars", rather choose to say "thank you". Being grateful for what you do have opens up the doors for abundance to flow in.
- Drop Ego's Need To Judge Others: Whenever we have a thought that excludes or judges anyone else, we aren’t defining them. We’re defining ourselves as the kind of person who needs to judge others. To avoid judgement I recommend you live in a constant state of awareness and next time you catch yourself judging ask yourself "what does this mean - why am I judging this person right now". Live with empathy and open your heart to others - understand that every human being is doing the best with what they have or know. When you encounter rude, mean or destructive people make the effort to stop getting offended. Understand that their actions are really a plea to be loved, accepted and seen. Try to convert them from low-energy emotions that drain us—frustration, irritation, anger and impatience—into high-energy emotions that sustain us—love, caring, kindness. You can do this by asking them something about themselves or by expressing empathy, “Been a long day? It must be tough getting the 3 kids organised on your own.” Anything to let a person know that, in that moment, you are thinking more about them than about yourself.
- Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: The name of this step is the title to one of my all-time favourite books from Dr Wayne Dyer. There are two primary emotions the human mind encounters - love and fear. So anytime you’re feeling anxious, depressed, insecure, worried, angry or resentful, you’ve left love and entered fear. The best way to counteract the low-energy feelings is to say "I choose to feel good". It’s been proven that the thoughts we choose affect our emotional well-being. A commitment to feeling good can take away a headache, fear, depression, sadness, anxiety—you name it. Nothing outside yourself can make you feel bad. Your thoughts, not your world, cause you stress. And you can change your thoughts.
- Make Meditation A Regular Practice In Your Life: You need to take time to get quiet, to go within, and from this silence you will be guided. You’re already connected to everything that you perceive as missing from your life; go within to realign and reorient yourself. If meditation isn't your thing then just sit and be alone for at least 15 minutes a day.
- Become Conscious Of The Foods You Eat: Wholefoods such as fruits, vegetables, nuts, legumes, non-yeast breads and coconut oil are high-energy foods that will strengthen you, while highly acidic foods such as flour-based cereals, meats, dairy and sugars lower energy and will weaken you. Plant based whole-foods not only strengthen your body they also strengthen your mind and emotions. Everything from cancer, anxiety to depression has been healed with a high raw plant based diet. I personally, am an advocate for the 60 day juice fast where I have experienced a deep healing of both the mind + body during those 60 days.
- Ban All Low-energy Substances: Alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, sugar and virtually all artificial drugs, legal or otherwise, lower your body’s energy level and weaken you. They also play havoc with your hormones causing depression, fatigue and weight gain.
- Raise The Energy Levels Of Your Home Environment: Make your home a nurturing, cheerful and peaceful environment. Let the sunlight shine in and open up windows so the house can breathe. Don't bring anything into your home that isn't beautiful or makes you feel good. Invest in handmade quality items as opposed to cheap mass produced items. Place indoor plants in every room. Everything has energy - so only invite beautiful energy into your home.
- Reduce Your Exposure To Media: Fear sells - therefore modern day media puts a heavy emphasis on the bad and the ugly, leaving out the good. Having a constant stream of negativity is not healthy for both the mind + body.
- Become A Conscious Consumer: Purchasing consumer goods that have not harmed the earth, animals or humans feels good on both a cellular and spiritual level. Define what you believe to be ethical and then do your research to ensure that companies you are purchasing from have values in alignment with yours. Animal cruelty, child labour, unsafe work places, human exploitation, water pollution and landfill are just a handful of common consumer issues we need to take into consideration when making purchases. There is a lot of happiness and contentment found in actively seeking out an ethical and moral life.
- Stop Striving + Never Arriving: Happiness is not found in lofty ambitions and all those worldly goods that we have become accustomed to believing. No amount of fame, power, beauty or money is ever enough. So many of us compete with one another to become 'the best'. Drop the competitive ego and just enjoy the journey.
- Less Is More: More is the mantra of the ego. The material things we desire, the physical pleasures we seek, the attention we crave are superficial objects that will lead us down a path of self-destruction. Learn to need less - less stuff, less attention, less validation, less respect, less admiration, less money and so forth. Having less allows us to declutter our lives and minds so that we can move forward onto the things that truly matter..
- Serve Others: Drop self-importance and make your purpose revolve around how you can help other people. Living a life based on serving others is a healing remedy for both yourself and the well-being of the entire planet.
- Embrace Acceptance: Bad things happen to good people all the time - you need to learn to get over it and not carry a heavy backpack of resentment with you on your journey. Learning to be happy in the ‘here and now’, fully aware that every decision you have ever made or experience you have ever encountered has given you a deeper understanding of humanity and moved your heart a little closer to unconditional love. Learn to wear your battle scars with honour.
- Learning To Forgive: Life is full of things that are injust. Learn to detach from the feelings and try and view it as ‘an experience’ or ‘another lesson in the school of hard knocks’. Do your best to focus on the fact that the sadness you encountered has peeled another layer off your emotional self – you are now more open to showing compassion, guidance and words of encouragement to the people who need it most.
- Redefine Success: Modern society has a very unhealthy vision of success. As active participants of todays society it is almost impossible to not fall victim of such madness. Try to live in such a state of awareness where you understand the reasons behind why you think the way you do and the reasons why you behave a certain way. Don't allow your values be moulded by mainstream beliefs, rather dare to define your own values and code of ethics.
- Simplify Life: Declutter and simplify your life so that you can make more space for happiness, gratitude and abundance to grow. Sometimes you need to become less – so that you can become more. Set yourself some time to complete my free 30 Day Simple Living Challenge here.
- Embrace The Small Stuff: Ordinary has such a bad rap. Stop seeking out and waiting for extra-ordinary moments and things to come into your life. Learn to love the more simple pleasures of life that bring great abundance.
- Cultivate Practices To Stay Grounded: Staying connected and balanced is at the core of feeling happy. Find methods that help keep your perspective in check. I personally find that a spiritual practice helps me. Read my notes on Living The Wisdom Of The Tao Te Ching
- Forget Passion + Follow Curiosity: There are some of us who know what our passion is and there are others who have no fricken idea. Don't get so hung up on having to find your passion. Instead be curious and follow all the signs and opportunities that present themselves to you. Who knows your curiosity may actually lead you to your passion.